Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Choosing Your Femme Name

By Kathy Hamilton

Furrow your brow and think back carefully… just how did you get your femme name? And did you pick a femme name from the very first day you started cross dressing… or was your name something which just sort of came along or appeared some time later?

I must say that this is quite a fascinating subject, especially as many of us can’t really answer the question—indeed, most seem to say that their femme name just appeared…. and just felt right for them. Most names come from our sub-conscious, possibly very much like the first appearance of our inner female self: we don’t know where she came from or why she suddenly appeared—but once she was here, we had this innate feeling that she was here to stay, that she would be part of us forever!

In many ways, we are lucky that we are able to choose our femme names, whereas genetic women are at the likes, whims (or mercy) of their parents who often deliberate for ages to think about and select a name for their daughters. This freedom of choice gives us unlimited scope to choose whatever name we wish, and can go for a modern day name or one from the annals of time.

Yet some of us are almost pre-ordained to have the names we choose and I feel quite sure there is a deeper side to femme names that can be explored ad infinitum; just why did we pick that name we choose, why did we need to label ourselves so; or why do we need to have a femme name at all—is it a tacit admission that there really are two souls or spirits within our one body? That we really are two people in one? Generally, it appears that many girls do not seem to pay as much attention to picking their last or surnames, which is not that surprising, as many girls only use and know others by their first names.

But, back to the main question. From talking with a number of crossdressers and trans girls, the most common ways in which they derived their first femme names include the following:
-Some girls simply make an extension to their male name, for example: Martin to Martina, Justin to Justine or Eric to Erica;
-Some make subtle or single letter changes: Francis to Frances, Robin to Robyn or Tracy to Tracey; or they pick a name that has similar sound qualities to their male name: Bill to Lil; Harry to Marie or Keith to Cathy;
-Others adopt names that are the same for both males and female and stay with the name they already have been given: say, Kim or Evelyn or Chris;
-A number of crossdressers select their femme name by choosing the name of someone they may know who is related to them, now or from the past, such as an aunt, a former teacher or a school colleague—someone who may have exuded womanhood in the style and manner our crossdresser aspires to;
-The selected name is the same as someone our CD/trans girl admires and looks up to, whether it be a celebrity or a famous sports person or singer;
-The femme name was suggested by someone else; or, finally:
-The right name just sort-of popped up into our conscious and stayed there; without us having to think about picking a femme name—and the name just seemed appropriate

I believe I fit into this last category… my femme name just, how can I say, appeared and became a part of me without me ever consciously realizing it…

We also, as you would expect, have girls who feel the need to have more than one first name or hyphenate their name(s) (and why not, we are free to choose!). They choose names such: Christine Jane Jones or Kate Jennifer Smith or Tiffany Lori Johnson or Mary-Jane Wilson or Trixi-belle Angel…. and so on…

Finally, of course there are those CD’s or trans girls who deliberate at length, choosing and discarding names, then choosing and discarding all over again— choosing several different names over a period of time until they find the one which they feel fits them best.

Whichever way you found your name, don’t ever forget that it is she (the one within) who makes the choice so don’t be too puzzled or perplexed about why your femme name is Emily or Julie or Amber or Snowdrop—as long as your inner lady is happy, roll with it!

So, how about you, where did your femme name come from? Comment in the comments section!

Monday, June 24, 2019

Are you a clothes collector?

By Kathy Hamilton

I know for sure that I’m not alone in this.

As far as I can see, a very high percentage of crossdressers or people in the community seem to have the same issue (or is it a problem?) with clothes. First, we can’t resist buying new clothes—and once we buy clothes or accessories from En Femme, they are for keeps, they are forever, no matter whether we wear them once, twice… or never! In short, we never throw them away…unless we decide to purge which I’ve spoken about in a different article. Take a pause here and think carefully: are you like me, do you have a ratio of at least ten or more times (seriously) more female clothes, accessories, or shoes than male clothes or items? Does your female wardrobe make your collection of male clothes look miniscule by comparison?

By way of example, I have 2, maybe 3, pairs of male shoes, yet over 50 pairs of female shoes; 5 pairs of trousers, yet 60+ skirts; around 7 shirts, yet…, hmm.., well I’d better not say how many tops I have! If I took a photograph of the extensive wardrobe space she occupies versus the single-door compartment he has, I know where your sympathy will lie! Suffice to say, I think you get the picture. But maybe ownership of this extensive range of clothing is partly due to the fact that I never give any clothes anyway; never throw out any item of female clothing, shoes or accessories (well, unless the item is totally beyond use or repair, but that’s unusual). I guess some of this desire to hoard is genetic as my mother is a bit of a hoarder, but when I ponder the real reasons why? I can come up with several key excuses, sorry, legitimate reasons, why I like to hoard:

In the early days of crossdressing it was necessary to surreptitiously buy female attire or underwear from real shops or markets (before the days of being able to go online and buy whatever you want from En Femme); secrecy was paramount and many purchases, especially of underwear, were rushed and embarrassing; there was simply no way one wanted to be revealed as a crossdresser to the shop staff.

To be honest, many of the items I bought during such times have emotional value and I can fondly recall the times and trepidation and/or thrill of buying this dress or that underwear set. I may not ever wear such items again but that’s beside the point!

A fair number of my female clothing items were bought on impulse (something which, when in male mode, I will never do: at such times, I am careful and rational to the extreme). I may have worn the article in question once or (oops, shouldn’t say this) never wear it at all. Actually, to be fair I’m not that bad but do have a few of these impulse clothing purchases still hanging in my wardrobe with the labels on; or shoes standing in the cupboard in their boxes, and which have never seen the light of day since I bought them. Yet, I sometimes look at these items and think I might, just might, one day wear them, either as is or with some adaption: so no point to throw them out!

Then there are the dresses (maybe too long) or skirts (too short) or cardigans or tops which I no longer (temporarily, I hope) like or are no longer in fashion. I always think my views on what suits me may change or, as fashion is so cyclical, believe one day some of these items may come back into vogue. So why give them away?

This one is hard to admit but, fundamentally, I don’t like to waste anything I have paid good money for; even if it doesn’t quite fit or look right on me, now and then I have good intentions of taking the dress or top or skirt to a capable seamstress and having it made shorter, smaller or the zip replaced… but when? Next week, next year, never… I’m not sure.

So, as you can see, once I have bought that new dress or skirt from En Femme, it will be mine forever… whether I needed to buy it or not! In any event, whatever reason(s) we all find for collecting our lovely feminine clothes, could it be that buying (and hoarding) clothes far in excess of our needs is actually necessary to appease the dominant female persona who dwells within many of us? After all, she controls a large portion of the way we think and act in our everyday lives…

Does anyone have a better explanation?