The T-Grl Bucket List By: Cici Kitten

A few years ago, there was a movie out called “The Bucket List.” I never saw the film, but it starred Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, and it popularized the idea of making a list of things you’d like to do before you die. It’s funny, I never really had a list like that. Sure, there were places I’d always wanted to visit. Performers who I wanted to see in concert. And cools things that I wanted to experience – a safari in Africa, a week or two hiking around Denali, a romantic getaway to Fiji. But I never really thought of putting together an actual list. My list was more a series of vague wishes. Distant dreams that I honestly doubted would ever come true.

But then, a few years ago, I went to the Halloween Fetish and Fantasy Ball in Las Vegas. It was billed as one of the five events that Maxim Magazine suggests you attend before you die. And, you know what, they were right. I liked it so much I went back last year, and it had gotten even bigger and better. It had moved to the Hard Rock Casino and it was tgirl heaven! Hot guys. Hotter girls. And lots of cool crossdressing costume wear – from the gorgeous to the kinky to the blood and splatter horror show types. I had an amazing time. And I’d highly recommend it to anyone, but particularly to tgirls who love dressing up as creatively and outrageously as possible.


So that got me to thinking, what other events would go on a Tgirl Bucket List? Actually I’m hoping some of our readers will submit comments in the space below. But here are a few of mine. And btw… a bucket list doesn’t have to mean things you wish to do before you die. I mean, the main thing I wish to do before I die is not die. (We’ll see how that works out.) But your list might also contain things you want to do before you’re 30 or 40 or 50.


My list would probably contain a lot of fetish events around the world. But other girls may have more modest goals – to simply leave the house dressed and visit a local bar. Your goal may revolve around personal relationships. You may wish to come out to your family. While still other girls may have transformative experiences in mind – they may wish to actually become women. All amazingly ambitious goals!


Anyway, I hope you’ll play along and add some ideas to my list below.


New Year’s Eve in Key West. Every year, Anderson Cooper and CNN check in with all of the top NYE celebrations around the world… and I love the shots from Key West with all the drag dolls partying in the streets. Sure looks like fun to me.

Southern Comfort Conference. I’ve had many people tell me that this is the premier tgirl get-together in the U.S. It happens every September in Atlanta with hundreds of tgirls in attendance. If you’ve never been to an event like this, you’ll be amazed at how inspiring and empowering it is to be among so many other tgirls hanging out and enjoying themselves so comfortably and confidently in public. It really is a kick.

Other similar events include Diva Las Vegas and Be-All in Chicago. There are also PRIDE events in most major cities. And the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. All are pretty amazing events for tgirls to attend. Personally, I’d also suggest Viva Wild Side in Las Vegas. I can’t put it on my list because I’ve already been. But I’ve attended this event the past two years and have made some of the best friends of my life there. If the idea of themed nights like lingerie night and fetish night appeals to the party girl in you (with plenty of clubbing and shopping thrown in), I can’t recommend VWS enough!

The West Hollywood Halloween Parade is a crazy night in one of the world’s most out and open cities. This annual event attracts about 400,000 people! Halloween has always been the unofficial “National Tgirls Night Out” – and I can’t think of a better place to strut your stuff than down Santa Monica Boulevard. (Although, you might want to bring some flats for when your feet have had enough of the stilettos heels!)


I guess for many of you, events like this around the country – or across the globe -- might be a little too much to wish for. I know that for many crossdressers, slipping out of the house and simply driving around the neighborhood late at night is an amazing thrill. Or going to your first bar. Hitting your first dance floor. Or going on your first date. Here’s one for many girls, “Just once, I’d like to go to a club, sit at a bar, and have a guy buy me a drink.”

Maybe you’d like to experience a professional makeover. OMG… I’ve done a few of those and I can’t say enough about the thrill it gives you. To see a professionally made up face staring back at you in the mirror? For me, it’s better than sex! Seriously. Throw in a pro photo shoot and you have photos to last a lifetime. If you haven’t done it, that should definitely be on your list.

Maybe your bucket list is full of clothes you’d like to own or wear out. A prom dress? A formal gown? Lacy lingerie for men? A Victorian corset? And what about a wedding gown? Is there a girl in the world who hasn’t imagined what she might look like in white lace and chiffon? I happen to live near Hollywood, so I know of a couple of girls who have walked the red carpet and attended the Oscars! But maybe your dream is just to lay out by a hotel pool in your teeny bikini! I still haven’t done that one yet. But, hopefully, there’s still time for me. And, chances are, there’s still time for you to fulfill a fantasy or two as well!


I never saw “The Bucket List.” But I do remember another Morgan Freeman movie called, “The Shawshank Redemption.” In that film, Freeman plays a character called, Red, who gets to say one of the most memorable lines in modern film history, “Get busy living or get busy dying.”

So that’s my challenge to all of you. Get busy! As far as I’m concerned there’s never been a better time to be a T! So get out there, girls, and check something off your list. Let’s show those buckets who’s boss!
Take care out there.



Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy.

xoxo,
CiCi

Creating a Smokey Eye by Chrissy Winters

Listen up Dolls, do you want to create the perfect Smokey eye and just don’t know how to? Well I am here to help all of you Dolls with these easy steps and it should only take you about 5 minutes to do. I also recommend that you buy Suddenly Fem’s newest makeup kit (shown left, item # 6702) as it is going to have everything that you need to create that perfect Smokey eye!


Things you will need:

• eye shadow primer (not 100% needed but a great item to use)

• eye shadow in various shades (dark, light) of the color you want your smoky eye to be

• mascara

• cream shimmer or pale shimmery eye shadow

• Black or dark eye liner (depending on what color you want your smoky eye to be)

Make sure your eye area is prepped. Use appropriate eye cream depending on the condition of your skin (for dry skin, use a hydrating eye cream; for oily skin, you might even be able to skip the cream since you’ll have enough moisture in the area. If your eye cream has SPF, that’s an extra bonus! Any extra precaution you can take to protect the delicate eye area is always beneficial. It’s important to have your eye area prepped because it will affect the application of the eyeliner, shadow, etc. (If your skin is too dry around the eye, you’ll be forced to tug at your eyeliner, pulling the skin around your eye and causing more wrinkles in the long run).



Curl your lashes first so that you don’t mess up your smoky eye by sticking an eyelash curler on it after all your hard work. Mascara application is optional at this point. Some makeup artists apply mascara at the very end; others apply it in the very beginning. See Tips and Warnings for more on this.



Use a light sheer taupe or pale shimmery gold shadow and the wider shadow brush. Sweep this pale shadow onto the entire lid. Make sure you at least get the area right under your eyebrow highlighted with this. This will be your base color and will help your smoky eye have that gradual, shaded look. It will also open up and brighten your eye area. We’ll be coming back to this shadow later so keep it within reach.



Start with dark eyeliner. I usually go for classic black to give my eyes definition, but depending on the color you’ve chosen for your smoky eye, you can choose other dark colors. A dark navy will make the whites of your eyes pop, and will still match a dark blue smoky eye. A deep plum or purple will also look gorgeous next to a plum smoky eye shadow. A dark charcoal is also a nice alternative to black because it’s a little unexpected, but still adds definition. Black will match ANY smoky eye color so you can always just use black to be safe. You might need your other hand to pull the skin around your eye taut if the skin is sagging there or not as tight. Get as close to your lash line as possible and even dot some eyeliner in between your lashes to make your lashes look fuller. I recommend waterproof pencil eyeliner for the easiest and most foolproof application.



My secret trick here is to have a second eyeliner in a less severe color on top of the black liner. It’s not required because you can technically just use more eye shadow, but I find that it helps intensify the smoky eye and also helps the eye shadow to adhere and stay put longer. Usually, I’ll use a color that matches the shadow I will be using. So if I am making a plum/purple smoky eye, I’ll use deep indigo or deep plum/purple eyeliner lined above my black line from Step 4. This will also prevent the black eyeliner from becoming less black due to the eye shadow that you’ll be laying on top of it.



Then take your dark smoky eye shadow in the darkest shade you have (dark navy, plum, olive green, brown) and use a blending shadow brush to sweep it on top of your second eyeliner, and also the area just above where your eye folds. (If you have flat-set eyes or a really small eyelid fold, eyeball about third to a half of your eyelid area. Don’t get any of the dark shadow anywhere near your eyebrow.)



Most eye shadow palates come with different shades of one color. Use the lighter color (lavender for purple smoky eye, lighter olive green for green smoky eye, lighter sky blue for dark navy smoky eye, tan for brown smoky eye, etc.) and blend a small dab of it (with your third or ring finger to ensure a light touch) in the middle of your eyelid, right around where your dark shadow ends and the light taupe shadow begins. This is just to ease in the darker shadow into the rest of your eyelid and for that graduated color effect. Again, try not to get this shadow near your eyebrow because it will make you look clownish.



At this point, the color should be subtly graduated on your eyelid. Use the taupe shadow again or a lighter shimmery eye shadow/cream shadow and blend it in the inner corners of both eyes. I find that my finger works best for this because the surface area is so small and delicate. This will make your eyes pop and will accentuate the smokiness of the rest of your eye.



Make sure you cover up dark under eye circles if you have them. Otherwise, you’ll look like a raccoon. Use a creamy yellow-toned concealer and a small synthetic concealer brush, and set it with loose, translucent powder.

Tips and Warnings!

If you decide to apply mascara before everything else, you risk getting eye shadow powder onto your lashes and muddying up the dark, defining effect of the mascara. You can always clean this up later with an extra coat, or with a lash comb.



If you apply mascara after everything is done, you risk smudging it and also smudging your eye shadow (and messing up all your hard work!). If you’re careful, this shouldn’t happen but if it does, you’ll just have to do some damage control and reapply some shadow.

• The looks achieved by the above steps are for the basic, upper eyelid smoky eye. You can line the bottom rim of your eyes for a more dramatic effect but this does smudge easier throughout the night though.

• If you don’t want to bother with the second colored eyeliner, you can always skip that step and start directly with the shadow.

Let one of the experts at Suddenly Fem help you with all your makeup needs today! You can trust Crossdresser.com to provide you with a fabulous selection of makeup for the cross dressing male.

Caring for your Wigs! By Chrissy Winters

Wigs are one the best accessories for the Cross Dressing man, as you can change your look just about every time you get dressed with a different wig. Suddenly Fem has the best selections of wigs for the cross dressing male. Shown left is style # 8208 which comes in 5 different color selections and a must have item!

One thing all you dolls need to keep in mind is the care of wigs. Below are some great tips to help keep your wig looking it’s best at all times. Caring for your wig properly will keep it fresh, attractive and comfortable. Please follow the instructions for caring for your wig. Your wig could be damaged if you wash and dry your wig incorrectly; following these maintenance tips will help in keeping your wig in tip top shape!

Storage:
When you remove your wig, keep it on a wig stand (or “head form”) to maintain the shape. Smooth out straight hair or fluff curls with a wire brush or pick. Cover with a hair net that holds the style without matting. Avoid leaving your wig near heat (radiators, vents), humidity (showers), or dusty areas.

Cleaning your Wig!
Shampooing frequency depends on wearing frequency. In general a wig should be washed after every 6–8 wearings in warm climates or after every 12–15 wearings in coolers ones. However, if you’re especially active, use hairspray, smoke or live in an especially humid or poor air quality climate, you should wash about once a week to remove excess perspiration, dirt and smell.

Before washing, gently brush out wig to remove any teasing or tangles and turn inside out.

• Add a cap of wig shampoo or baby shampoo to a basin of cool (never hot) water.
• Soak it in lukewarm water using a wig shampoo for 3 to 5 minutes.
• Swish it gently, do not rub.
• Rinse well by swishing in clean, cool water. Gently squeeze out excess without twisting.
• After, a thorough rinsing in cold water, turn the inside back in.
• You can always condition your wig by using wig conditioner.  

Drying your wig - Do not comb or brush when wig is wet!

After washing, tightly finger squeeze each curl on curly styles while wig is still wet. On both straight and curly styles, gently towel blot to remove excess water.

• Let wig air-dry on a clean, dry towel or a wire head form that allows air circulation.
• Do not set the wig stand near heat sources or in direct sunlight.
• Never use blow dryers or other heat appliances on synthetic wigs.

Also, be sure not to comb, brush or pick a wet wig unless you are completely restyling it. As the wig dries, shake it out periodically to speed drying. Once fully dry, style normally.

Once you have become accustomed to your wig, it’s easy to go about your daily activities. Just remember to avoid blasts of heat, such as quickly opening an oven door on synthetic wigs. We would not want any of you dolls to have a melt down.

Remember you can change or try new looks quickly and easily by simply changing your wig. Let one of the experts at Suddenly Fem help you with all your wig needs today! You can trust Crossdresser.com to provide you with a fabulous selection of wigs for the cross dressing male.

Tips for Choosing The Correct Breast Forms For You!

There are quite a few purchases in a man’s life that are pretty life changing; Your first car, your first television, your first cell phone or computer…and for the Crossdressing male, your first set of silicone breast forms. I am a firm believer that when you are purchasing what I like to call an “investment purchase” you should do your research. Make a list of questions, write down some pros and cons and look for an expert on the subject. Here at Suddenly Fem we offer over a dozen different models. With this many products, you may question what style is the best selection for my individual needs?


7000 – The 7000 “Silicone Perfect Fit Breast Forms” are designed, like all of our forms, to specifically fit a man’s chest. The sizes begin at a 36 Regular B and go up to a 44 Full D. These particular forms are more of a triangular shape We recommend these forms for those customers who enjoy a more projected profile. They fit the 36 - 40 chest size well. They can look well on a 42 - 45 chest range, but look best if you are more "barrel" chested  because they wrap around a larger chest and look natural.  The triangular shape tends to fit very well into our crossdressing lingerie. If you have a "meaty" chest or have a B or C cup breast developed, then you should choose the 7000 or 7001 styles since they have a concave back that accomodates your breast tissue. Adding the pocketbra to the silicone forms works well to integrate the chest wall as well as show off a very realistic looking  bustline.  Like all of our forms, these are made of medical grade silicone so they have a natural bounce and will feel real. Be Careful when shopping! Many other online suppliers sell lower quality, and much lower priced silicone breast forms, however the skin reactions that can occur from wearing their products made of non-medical grade silicone can be quite itchy and can possibly cause lingering rashes. Suddenly Fem provides only safe medical grade silicone breast form products!

7001 – The 7001 “New, Improved Perfect Fit Breast Forms” have been redesigned to fit the contour of a man’s chest as well add a bit of versatility to the customer. This style has a more oval shape that can fit a larger chest well.  You have the ability to  place the forms vertically on a smaller chest  for a more  narrow  look, or place them horizontally for large chest sizes so they wrap around the side and look natural as well as helping to center the  nipples better. Again, due to the medical grade silicone that we use on all of our crossdressing breast forms, they will drop and react just like a natural breast would. These forms are great for those of you that enjoy wearing shoulder bearing tops because you do not need a bra, you can just adhere them to your chest with our adhesive. Our adhesive product is Not recommended for customers that do not shave their chest, it will make the removal process complicated and painful.

7002 — The 7002 “Ultra Large DDD Size Breast Forms” are part of our new line of silicone breast forms. They are extremely large and create the voluptuous shape that you may be looking for. These forms are available in sizes 36 DDD through 44 DDD. This is actually one of the the largest forms that is available on the market! They are a great shape and fit for those of you with a larger chest or a “barrel” chest form.

7003 — Our 7003 “New Perfect Breast Bra with Clear Straps” is by far one of our best sellers! This particular pair of forms is set into a clear Lucite bra that is adjustable all the way around the chest and shoulders to ensure the best fit. This is the only form that we offer that you can actually achieve a cleavage look ! Simply slip these forms on and purchase a regular pushup/ cleavage showing bra to create your own sexy bustline. Otherwise go braless and it looks realistic. These forms are not recommended for people who enjoy wearing strapless tops or tank tops because there is no way to hide the clear straps. In that case, I’d recommend our self adhering forms (7000, 7001, 7002, 7004, 7005). Also, the 7003 have more of a flat back design which means they better fit those of you who have very little to normal breast / chest development for a man, not great for those with a lot of breast tissue.

7004 — Our 7004 “Ultra Projected Breast Forms” are available in sizes 38 DDD to a 44 DDD. Much like the 7002’s these are for the crossdressing male that would like a very busty, voluptuous look. They are made of the same medical grade silicone, same as all of our other forms, but these have a much more projected appearance. These are a good choice for those of you who want a projected look, yet the  forms are not too wide across your chest. Since they are a teardrop style, you do have the versatility to move them around to create your desired look. These forms are also available in a discount kit that includes one of our custom made pocketbras. The 7004 Bra Kit comes with a sheer Pocketbra that fits the forms perfectly and makes the breasts look like they are a part of you!

7005 — The 7005 “Le Petite Affordable Silicone Breast Enhancers” are great for those of you who prefer a small busted look or just need a bit more to perk up your already there breast tissue. These are the only enhancers with an integrated projected realistic nipple that is custom built into  the breast forms. Available in sizes small and medium…great for someone looking for a B cup! They are a great way to give you a bit of perk at a great price!

7006 — Our New Enormous Silicone Forms are perfect for the cross dressing male that is looking for a SUPER voluptuous look. These are the absolute largest size available anywhere and weigh up to 4 pounds. We do not currently have a bra that will fit these forms, however, you can shop around online to find one ( size E or F) Again, these are medical grade silicone and best if you are looking for an extremely voluptuous look!

7007 – The Realistic Open Breast Bra with silicone forms are great for people who are looking for the security of a bra, but like the look of wearing no bra. It comes with Both a nude and black bra . You simply attach the velcro tabs on the breasts to the inside of the bra and you have a wonderful, all-in-one solution! Like all of our other forms these have the projected nipple and matte finish to make the breast look as natural as possible. We have sizes ranging from a 36 C through a 42 D. These are best fitted to  someone with a normal chest wall, and not someone with a  developed  breast ( B or C cup) since they have a flat back design.

7008 – The Self Adhering Perfect Fit Oval Breast Forms are one of our newest models. We incorporated all customer feedback ,which helped us perfect the natural breast look and shape to which we then added built-in adhesion! This model is the right choice for those customers that have issues with breast form adhesive (such as allergic reactions). These are also great for those of you that enjoy wearing form fitting tees or sexy sports bras. I like to think of the self adhesive as its own little insurance policy…wear them with a bra, or  right tank and you can be assured they will stay in place.  These also have a concave back so they work well with flat chests or those with some developed breast tissue.

Suddenly Fem has done much research when it comes to our breast forms. We pride ourselves on selling the best of the best and like to meet our customer’s needs. Choosing the best forms for you can be quite the decision because they are investments. Feel free to call and ask whatever questions you may have: 215-881-9470 or e-mail me at bvp5000@aol.com......... Danielle

Gladiator shoes – a must have item for all you Dolls! By Chrissy Winters

Trend Alert:

Gladiator Shoes!

Gladiator shoes are back in fashion, and in a major way. Slipping on a pair of gladiator shoes’ whether it flats, sandals or pumps’ can instantly make you're feet resemble that of a Greek Goddess. Suddenly Fem has a wide selection of high heels for men that can make you into that super sexy diva!

High Heeled Gladiators!

One of the biggest trends out there are gladiator high heel sandals’ and rightly so. There are alot of shoes out there coming out with these sexy, strappy stilettos, but no one has Gladiator shoes for the cross-dresser like Suddenly Fem! 

A must have item our Suddenly Fem's Item # EL-131 (shown above) are 5 inches of style! You can look edgy with a gladiator heel that's accented with cool-looking hardware. These are perfect to wear on those nice summer days, with or with out hosiery for men! But these gladiator heels truly have a flavor of their own and will compliment any cross dressing outfit!

Flat Gladiator Sandals

If 4 inch plus high heels are not your thing then there are always gladiator sandals. Gladiator sandals look great with a mini skirt, actually just about anything. Check out Suddenly Fem's  item # EL-118 (shown left) More than ever before, more women are wearing flat gladiator sandals rather than flip flops. Many are completely affordable and are useful because they go with everything, and I mean everything.

As you can see, there is no doubt why gladiator sandals are all the rage. They are fashionable, versatile and edgy. Trendy fashionistas and casual women alike can wear this vintage-style footwear anytime, anywhere. Dressing it up or down, gladiator shoes is a trend that can definitely be worn in virtually any occasion.

Let a fashion consultant at Suddenly Fem help you choose a pair of Gladiator shoes that suit your inner Greek Goddess and for all your cross dressing needs!

Hosiery 101 By Chrissy Winters

Hosiery can be subtle and demure, bold and bright, elegant or simply sexy! Suddenly Fem offers the widest selections of crossdressing hosiery available for the cross dresser. Not only do they offer the widest selection but they come in a variety of sizes to fit all of us dolls.

Hosiery is one of the easiest and least expensive ways to liven up a wardrobe with a great pair of hose! Girls we have so many options when it comes to hosiery but sometimes we all need a little guidance in making our selections. 

• DON'T: Be timid about Fishnets! Try a pair of fishnets as they add interest without looking sleazy and talk about super sexy...especially in our lingerie made for men!
• DO: Wear dark, solid colors and ribbed textures with dark clothes to slenderize and elongate your figure.
• DON'T: Wear pastels or white pantyhose with a dark skirt unless you are six feet tall or want to cut your figure in half.
• DON'T: Be shy! Patterns, thigh highs and lace pantyhose can add a touch of whimsy to your crossdressing clothing.
• DO: Try Back seams hose as they make the legs look super long and add interest to your legs when leaving a room.

Suddenly Fem offers the best when it comes to Opaque Hair Coverage Pantyhose! Covers the heaviest, darkest leg hair. When using the nude shade of the ultra coverage pantyhose, put another pair of sheer pantyhose or stockings over them (any color except nude). The black ultra coverage hose is to be worn alone; another pair of hose over them is not necessary.

Most importantly...take a few minutes to put your hosiery on properly!

• Remove all jewelry, and check fingernails and toenails for rough edges. (This greatly reduces those maddening "they ran as soon as I put them on" mornings.)
• Roll each leg of the pantyhose down and place the toe of the garment over the foot. Gently smooth one leg all the way up, then repeat on the other leg.
• Pull the rest of the pantyhose up to the waist ,but don't pull too tight! Smooth fabrics while checking for twists and sags.
• Lastly, take off your hosiery just as carefully as you put them on!

Caring for your hosiery.

Your hosiery will last so much longer if you wash your hosiery gently by hand. Use a mild detergent that doesn't contain chlorine bleach. To dry, place one or two pairs of pantyhose on a towel, roll up and squeeze towel gently. This eliminates stretching when hanging hosiery to dry. Never attempt to dry pantyhose in the dryer.

Just remember to hosiery can change the look of your outfit so don’t be afraid to try something new and let one of the experts at Suddenly Fem help you with all your hosiery and stocking needs today! You can trust Crossdresser.com to provide you with a fabulous selection of crossdressing stockings and pantyhose!





 

  

Passing By: CiCi Kitten

Every so often I get a comment from someone about one of my photos. Now, believe me, I love getting comments. Especially compliments. Who doesn’t! I mean, that’s why we post pix, right?

But lately I’ve gotten a few comments like this, “I love your look. You’re so passable.” Or “I wish I was passable like you.” Now, of course, I’m flattered. I know how important “passing” is to some girls. So I take it as an enormous compliment. But here’s the thing, I’m not passable. In fact, I’m not even close.

Over the past few years, I’ve been out many times. I’ve been to clubs and events in L.A., San Francisco, Atlanta, and Las Vegas. I’ve been to alt clubs, fetish clubs, straight clubs, tgirl clubs and gay bars. I’ve pumped gas, shopped in convenience stores, eaten in fast food joints, and strolled through crowded casinos. I’ve literally come into contact with thousands of people from all walks of life. And I’ve never once been mistaken for a woman. Not once. Not even for a moment.

And it doesn’t surprise me a bit. I’m too tall. I’m too thick. My facial features are far from delicate. And, let’s face it, my crossdressing clothes are not like the typical woman. I mean, when was the last time you saw a chick dressed in head-to-toe latex at your local Koo Koo Roo Chicken? So I know I’m not fooling anyone. And the thing is, I don’t really try.

When I’m out, I try to present myself as the hottest, most attractive, and most stylish person I can be. And I think most of us have similar goals – although what we each consider hot, pretty, or stylish probably varies greatly. But I never expect to look like a woman. Or to be mistaken for a woman. I’m not on hormones for men. I’ve never had cosmetic surgery. So I just try to be the best tgirl I can be!

But for some girls this isn’t enough. They want to look feminine. They want others to see them as a woman. They may even want to become women. These kinds of girls are obviously coming at this from a much more serious perspective. (And all that I’m saying probably seems quite superficial to them.) But for most of us, passing isn’t possible. Nor should it even be a concern. Why spend a lot of time and energy fretting about something that is virtually impossible, when you could be enjoying yourself and having fun?

Now don’t get me wrong. I go to great lengths to look like a woman. From the crossdressing wigs, heels and falsies (both eyelashes and boobs!) to the hours spent in front of my mirror, perfecting my makeup, trying different hair styles, or attempting to feminize my gestures and walking. Make no mistake about it, I do all of that. Because I want to look feminine. I really do. And, what’s more, I enjoy feeling feminine when I’m dressed – whether I’m just hanging out at home or hitting the clubs of L.A.

I guess the difference just comes with expectations. For most of us, if you expect to pass, you’re going to be constantly disappointed in your look, and uncomfortable while you’re out. And what fun is that? I’m sure there are girls out there right now who are saying to themselves, “I’m not going out until I’m passable.” OMG, that’s such the wrong approach. Because, not only is going out fun, it also helps you become more girlie. Let’s face it, it’s relatively easy to take a few photos, touch them up a little, post the best of them online, and appear fairly feminine to others. It’s much harder to pull that off in person. When you’re out and among other people, you quickly learn how much work you still have to do on your voice, your walk, your gestures, your style. It’s a learning experience. I’ve been going out for several years and I still learn something new with every foray into the real world -- things that I could never learn sitting home at my computer. The irony is, if you wait until you’re “passable” before you go out, the only thing “passing” will be your life… and it will be passing you by.

Embrace what you are. You’re not a woman. You’re a tgirl. And let me tell you, a tgirl is a pretty incredible thing to be! I wish all of you could experience a trip to a tourist location like Hollywood Boulevard or the Strip in Las Vegas. It’s amazing. (Always best to go with a group of friends, btw!) Be prepared to get some attention. Tourists will actually stop you and ask to take pictures with you. You literally become a part of the attraction! Elderly couples, young singles, foreign exchange students, wedding parties! They’ve all asked me to pose in pix with them. Not because I passed. Quite the opposite. I was asked to pose because I stood out.

There’s something very special about being a tgirl. I’m not sure what it is – that’s a topic for another day -- but it fascinates people. And believe me, I know being out and dressed can also bring unwanted comments, stares, and even harassment. Sadly, that still comes with the territory these days. But for the most part, I’ve found people – total strangers -- to be friendly, good natured, curious, and quite intrigued by my dressing as a woman in public. They’ve also given me plenty of compliments. A couple of times, I’ve even been told that I look better than a woman! (Gotta love that!), but no one has ever said I looked like a woman.

When I interviewed pin-up star, Tara Emory, for this blog last year, she said she liked being thought of as mythical creature – like a mermaid or a unicorn. And I know exactly what she means. I too like being something different. Not male. Not female. Not really both. But something other. And that other-ness attracts attention – both positive and negative. And I like attention! (Big surprise there. LOL.)

Of course, not all of you crave attention like I do. And not all of you like being seen as something “other.” You want to be seen as a woman… a feminine being… and I totally respect that. I wish you well on your journey and admire the courage it will take each step of the way as you attempt to accomplish that.

But for all of you for whom this is just a hobby. For all of you who do this “just for fun,” I say… don’t worry about passing! Worry about enjoying yourself. Worry about feeling comfortable in your own skin. Worry about perfecting your look, be it classy or brassy, sexy or sophisticated, glamorous or girl-next-door.

But passing? That’s for footballs. Looking good, having fun, and turning heads… now that’s tgirl territory!


Take care out there!

Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy!

xoxo,

CiCi