|(Photo by Altomic Visuals, 2014)|
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
We are not pretty.
A few of us might be. Some of us are absolutely stunning. Those are the few that you see on television or in movies or in beauty pageants and on cable interview programs. They are very pretty and feminine and thin and gorgeous.
But most of us are not pretty.
We are too tall. Too thick. Too fat. Too awkward. Too clumsy. Too manly.
Our bodies are curved in all the wrong places. Our hands are too large. Our chins are too long. Our foreheads too pronounced. Our Adam’s apples too apparent. Our feet are so large that they stretch beyond the sizing proportions of most -- if not all -- mainstream shoemakers.
We don’t know make-up. We don’t know style. And we walk funny in heels. We will never be feminine enough. Or graceful enough. Or passable enough.
But we will be here. And our numbers are growing.
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 1:23 AM
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Shopping in Secret for Crossdressing Clothing is now a thing of the Past! A New Retail Store Outlet is here
Philadelphia Magazine's GLBT Blog reports that Suddenly Fem has teamed up with Iconic South Street Store Passional to sell clothing and accessories just for crossdressers and transitioning Transgender women! a Retail outlet for Crossdressing Clothes is now available!
For crossdressers and transitioning transgender women, shopping in secret can be the norm. As of October 25, 2014, DL (down low) store browsing will become a faint memory now that this underserved consumer segment has a safe, caring location offering clothing and items tailor made for their bodies and lifestyles. Suddenly Fem is now showing a myriad of styles from their fashion collection at Passional Boutique located at 317 South St, Philadelphia PA.
Suddenly Fem is the one and only fashion line with a complete selection of feminine dresses, suits, pants, lingerie and specialty under garments designed and manufactured for the biological male form.
For years, Suddenly Fem (SF) has allowed a select few customers to visit their design studios. Clients were in no way local. Many traveled from across the nation for their special fittings. Demand and requests at SF have steadily increased for a retail outlet, but SF was never able to find a comfortable, safe environment for their clientele’s needs.
“We have primarily been an Internet fulfillment company but reps receive at least 4 requests a day from customers inquiring if we have a retail location,” states VP, Tyler DeSouza. “I first met the staff at Passional at the Mazzoni Center’s Philadelphia Trans Health Show in June 2014, as we both had a booth. I was impressed by their organization, and after visiting the store I could not think of a more appropriate retail placement for our innovative, fashion designs.” At the show, a collaboration was born.
Passional Boutique has been serving the alternative fashion lifestyle community for over 20 years and has a built-in following of crossdressing customers. Complimenting the great selection of specially designed styles is the exceptionally helpful and understanding staff at Passional – voted best “Adults Fun Only Store” Best of Philly (magazine) 2012.
As for demographics and customers, the city of Brotherly love makes perfect sense as a location for SF’s first retail outlet. Philadelphia has recently been increasing benefits, protections and heath care services to Transgender individuals leading Philadelphia Magazine to pen an article in August 2013 “Is Philly the New Transgender Capital of the World?”
Suddenly Fem will offer a full assortment of best sellers across their line. The collection will include dresses, teddies, gaff panties, skirts and even pants. Passional staff is prepared to guide the beginning x-dresser after collaborative training meetings with Suddenly Fem staff.
Kali Morgan from Passional, passionately declares, “We are excited to bring in this line that is so often mentioned by our customers! We have sold items for the transgender community since the start of our business, but this partnership will allow us to offer a wider variety of merchandise and educational resources for this underserved market.”
Posted by CiCi Kitten at 11:54 AM
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
There has been yet another rash of violent crimes against trans women recently. I know these crimes happen all the time. But sometimes they come in bunches – reminding us of just how much hate and misunderstanding still exists in the world.
It is beyond horrifying how callously and brutally the lives of innocent trans women are taken. As if our lives hold less value in the minds of others.
Often, when another senseless death makes the evening news or a Facebook post, we, as a community, rally. We hold vigils. Or protests. We post kind and loving sentiments online - even though most of us have never met the person in question.
And there’s one more thing we do.
|Passable? Or just another guy in a dress?|
We do not ask stupid questions.
The kinds of questions we tend to ask of each other when we’re all still alive.
Was she trans? Or just a crossdresser?
Was she passable? Or just another guy in a dress?
Was she pretty? Was she ugly? Was she out? Was she closeted?
Was she full-time or part-time? Was she on hormones?
Top surgery? Bottom surgery?
Did she involve herself in trans political issues? Or was she a party girl?
Did she wear too much make up? Or not nearly enough?
Was that her real hair? Were those her real boobs? Was that her real ass?
Suddenly, when someone passes away, all of the shaming and judging that goes on within our community stops. Suddenly none of it seems to matter.
Because it never mattered.
In death, we simply remember… she was one of us.
Our community. Our sisters and brothers. Our family. We may not get along. We may not agree on many things. And we may choose very different ways of expressing our trans nature. But we all still feel the pain. When one of us is lost, we all still feel the heartache. The anger. The sorrow. And yet, it would be sad to think that that sorrow is the only thing that binds us together.
Only in life… do we shame each other.
Only in life… do we insult someone for choosing a path that’s different than our own.
Only in life… do we bully those who don’t fit precisely into our vision of how a life should be lived.
Only in life… do we categorize and criticize and demonize those different from ourselves.
Yet only in life... do we have the opportunity to make someone feel good about themselves.
Only in life... do we have the opportunity to help someone feel confident about their gender expression. To feel positive about their appearance. To feel supported in their glorious, flawed, and undeniably human individuality.
Only in life... can we express true love for one another as we each make our very different journeys through our short but precious days on Earth.
Only in life.
Take care out there.
Be safe. Be smart. Be whoever the fuck you want to be.
Because life is short. And you only get one.
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 12:09 AM
Monday, September 29, 2014
An essential garment for crossdressers. transgender women and drag queens is called the gaff. It’s purpose is to hide and conceal the biological male parts for a more feminine look. Suddenly Fem has constructed the first hiding Panty gaff that is comfortable, yet conceals the biological male parts. It provides all day comfort, a full back panty briefer design, and comes packages with 4 detachable garters and a pair of matching stockings!
For many years, this type of garment has been made in many shapes and sizes, but it is normally constructed as a tight thong panty. A “girl” can get a fabulous, flat appearance, however, as you can imagine, sometimes it can be a bit uncomfortable. Even the act of crossing ones legs while seated can be somewhat challenging.
Suddenly Fem has designed and manufactured thong gaffs for over 20 years. The design staff is always listening to their clientele and innovating new styles based upon requests. Fall 2014 is a momentous year in style design for Hiding Gaffs. No more chafing, rubbing, uncomfortable Gaffs.
“We are excited about the debut of this innovative new gaff style.” says VP of Operations, Tyler DeSouza. "We tested our designs with customers and on our models at our photo shoots to insure they provide all day flattening support as well as all day comfort”
Times are changing for transgender rights and inclusion. There are many more transitioning (male to female) girls coming out and they are living en-femme 24 hours a day. These types of innovative, specialty garments are necessary to help transitioning transgender more comfortably achieve their goals.
The Comfort Hiding Gaff is available at the Suddenly Fem website Crossdresser.com under style 41601 for black and 41602 for White.
Posted by CiCi Kitten at 6:38 PM
Saturday, September 20, 2014
There's nothing Sexier than a correctly designed Zipper Dress.
It gives you the versatility to change your look with either lowered necklines or higher slit placement.
Suddenly Fem has released two specially designed styles made ot fit the contours of the crossdressing male / Transgender woman's body!
The Bodycon Little Black Dress - Style 193 is the flagship style. It not only looks sexy, but the curved black side panels create an hourglass figure. It features a full front metal zipper.
Purple Paradise Side Slit Front Zipper Dress - Style 1839. Sophisticated deep purple with a lowered hemline that creates a hot front slit - as high as you want to bring it up!
Visit Suddenly Fem for the most innovative, cutting edge fashions for the Transwoman and Crossdresser. Everything is made to fit you.
Posted by CiCi Kitten at 4:30 PM
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
I am not fearless. Never was. Never will be.
I felt the need to say that because I get that comment every once in a while. I tell a particular story in my blog or I post a particular pic on social media. And people write in to say, “CiCi! You’re so fearless. I wish I could be more like you.”
And I have to write back and tell them that if they’re nervous or afraid or downright shaking in their boots, they’re a lot more like me than they think. Because I’m a total coward. A big old scaredy cat.
And so are many of my friends. I know some of the most confident and active girls in the world. I’ve watched them get ready to go out, and some of them get as nervous as a newbie. I think it’s a good thing. Overconfidence can lead to foolhardy behavior. While a healthy dose of fear keeps you on your toes.
|This is me being fearless and reckless -- and traveling safely with a group and a designated driver!|
Photo by Al Tom (who was also the designated driver. Thanks, Al!
So how did I get here? How did I go from shrinking violet, wallflower to out-and-about (seemingly) confident tgirl? Well that’s an interesting story. Actually, it’s a boring story, but I promise to try to make it interesting. ;)
For me and my “out” persona, being bold and confident comes down to three major factors. None of which is fearlessness...
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 1:50 AM
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
When I was a little boy, I had a lot of girlfriends. Not the romantic kind. I was too young for that. I’m talking about kindergarten. Elementary school. In the classroom and on the playground, I tended to hang out with the girls.
I was a talkative kid. Still am. Every year, my report card indicated that I needed “to spend a little less time talking to my neighbors.” Some people thought I was a flirt. And I probably was. A boy constantly talking with the girls. But now, looking back, I’m not so sure that I was flirting. I think I was engaging in girl talk. No one likes to stereotype genders, but back then the boys typically roughhoused and the girls typically chatted. While I engaged in more than my share of roughhousing, I apparently preferred chatting. And I definitely preferred the company of girls.
That all changed around the time I discovered sports -- around 4th grade of so. My competitive streak came out and I started spending my recesses with the boys playing kickball, dodgeball, and kill-the-guy-with-the-ball (a sport that I’m sure is destined to become an official Olympic competition some day). I also got the sense, somehow, that I should spend more time with the boys. Yet, I can’t recall anyone specifically telling me that. It was just a feeling. A feeling that eventually ate away at my young mind, and I succumbed to social convention.
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 2:39 AM
Sunday, June 29, 2014
I’m a pretty nice person. I work hard. I raised a family. Paid my way (or should I say, “borrowed my way”) through higher education. I vote. I recycle. And I often give to charity when I’ve got a little extra in my pocket. I’ve rescued strays. I have no criminal convictions more serious than a traffic ticket. And I often let people with one or two items go ahead of me in the grocery store line.
When I was a kid, I always went to the local fireworks on the 4th of July, always marched with my Cub Scout Troop in the Memorial Day parade, and I’ve stood in the hushed silence of the Viet Nam War Memorial and rubbed off a copy of the name of a very dear family friend.
I’m far from perfect. I’ve battled my share of demons. Broken a few hearts. Made some bad decisions. And generally acted in ways that were wholly selfish and thoughtless. But all in all, I’ve lived the majority of my life as a very conventional, traditional American citizen. And here’s the real key. I still do.
I’m not a rebel by nature. I’m generally pretty shy and quiet. I don’t go out of my way to challenge authority or upset the status quo. That’s just not my personality. It’s not something I enjoy.
But one thing I do enjoy is dressing like a woman. I don’t know why. I’ve actually stopped questioning why. I just know that I enjoy doing it. And I really enjoy hanging out with other people who enjoy doing it. And while I can’t vouch for everyone that self-identifies under the trans umbrella, most of the trans people I’ve met seem like pretty decent folks. Sure there are few assholes here and there... maybe even a few felons... but that’s true of any group in America.
For most of America’s 238 years, trans people and cross dressers like myself haven’t had much of an impact. We’ve hidden in closets, lurked in alternative clubs, and hooked up in dark alleys. But those days are over. We’re getting stronger and braver and more self-confident -- as a community and as individuals. And the numbers of openly proud and unashamed trans people are only going to grow in the coming years.
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 5:40 PM
Saturday, June 7, 2014
It was inevitable. After all of the great strides the trans community has made over the past few years, you knew there had to be backlash. You knew we were going piss someone off. And actually, the louder we get, the louder the haters will get.
I try to ignore them. And usually I can. But it hurts. So much of it is so ignorant and uninformed. And some of it is just pure hate. But the part that gets me is that so much of it is so stridently and aggressively non-curious. I’ve found transpeople to be some of the most fascinating people I know. I can’t understand why the rest of the world doesn’t want to get to know us. They’d rather dismiss us or deny our rights or deny our very right to exist.
|You can talk all the shit about me you want.|
But if you come after my friends, I’m sorry. I just can’t let that go.
A lot of this is our fault. We’ve been hiding in shame for so long. But that shame is fading. We’re getting stronger... as individuals and as a community. So this is not the time to let a few mean-spirited misinformed loudmouths set us back.
Besides, you can talk all the shit about me you want, but if you start to come after my friends, I’m sorry. I just can’t let that go.
I’m no sociologist, or gender therapist, or medical practitioner, or scientist. But then neither are the bloggers and columnists spreading the hate. They’re just writers like me. So I figure my opinion is as valid as theirs.
Here’s what they’re saying:
“You’re not women. Stop saying you are.”
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 5:18 PM
Sunday, April 27, 2014
With a title like that you’re probably wondering what the heck this blog has to do with crossdressing and the transgender life. But as I’m gradually coming to learn, nearly everything we encounter these days impacts tgirls and our struggle for acceptance.
Let’s start, sadly, with the Los Angeles Clippers. I’m not a big NBA basketball fan, but I know of Donald Sterling and of his troubled 33-year ownership of LA’s “other” basketball team. This weekend, he was allegedly caught on tape making some extremely derogatory remarks about African-Americans. Understandably, his remarks have caused a firestorm in the press and around the sports world.
But the saddest reaction is that of so many who have said -- they’re not surprised. Because what we all know -- in our heart of hearts -- is that while civil rights legislation and equal rights marches have helped to change the law of the land here in the U.S., we cannot control someone’s mind or deep-seated beliefs. We cannot legislate hate.
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 8:44 PM