Gratitude

I don’t share much about my personal life here, but an incident last Sunday afternoon inspired this post. It had been just another Sunday, taking care of chores and the daily incidentals, when a neighbor frantically knocked on my front door, screaming. My son was sitting up in the middle of the road a few doors from our house, screaming, blood pouring from his mouth. He’d been hit by a large pick-up while he was on his bike. After an ambulance ride and an evening in the E.R., he was clearly in much better condition than we had any right to expect or hope for, given what had happened. He walked away from the incident with a fractured upper jaw, a few broken teeth, and a consultation appointment with an oral surgeon, plus a lot of bumps and bruises. He’s got a decent recovery ahead of him, but he’ll be fine and healthy.

I’m not good with gratitude, regardless of how hard I try. I have a tendency to see the glass as half-empty, worrying over everything. Spending an evening being reminded, even while I worried over pain medication and plastic surgery consultations, that I was amazingly fortunate may have changed that perspective. I know that the next few weeks and months will be stressful, as we manage insurance companies and treatment plans, but I still have a little boy with legos underfoot and overly long talks about Tolkein and Harry Potter.

Now, there’s a reason I’m sharing this, and it’s not to get sympathy for the fact that I’ve been up every two or three hours to dose a hurting child with pain medication for the last two nights. I’m going to talk just a little bit about gratitude. Psychologists tell us that simply practicing gratitude and learning to be thankful for what you have will increase your overall happiness substantially. I think it’s fair to say that we all hope to be happier, regardless of the challenges and struggles in our own lives.

I’m challenging all of you and myself to make a few simple changes in our daily lives, in the hopes of being happier and more fulfilled. These don’t have to be forever and committing for changes forever is never an easy task. Research varies on how long it takes to form a habit, so I’m going to go long with this one and ask for 100 days. That seems like a nice round number. Gratitude doesn’t necessarily happen naturally, and it is something you need to work at and practice, ideally daily. While your gratitude practice can resemble prayer or meditation, it certainly doesn’t have to, if it doesn’t suit your belief system.

Claim just a few minutes in the morning and evening for a gratitude practice. Each morning, sit in silence and think about the things you have to be thankful for and express that gratitude to the universe. Before bed each night, write down at least three things you are grateful for that day. Sometimes these may be big things--health, a job, a roof over your head. At other times, they can be small or minor things, like a perfectly frosted cupcake, a new dress, or lingerie that makes your body look just the way you prefer. Take the time to say thank you to those around you, both in large and small ways. Thank your partner for her love and support, thank your best girlfriend for always being there for you when you need a night of margaritas and brownies, or thank your cat for listening when you need someone to hear and not respond. Take the time to say thank you for good service when you’re shopping or to send a note to a business that has always given you their best.

Will this change anything in your life, in mine? I don’t know. I’m good, but I’m not quite psychic-good. I don’t think it will hurt any of us to recognize the good in our lives and our world, even when it’s sometimes hard to see, and maybe we’ll all be a bit happier after this experiment. So, early this morning, I am grateful for the oxycodone that is letting a hurt little boy sleep and for the job that allows me to be here to care for him, without worry about my income. I am grateful for the friends and family that have shown up at my door with meals and new toys, and for the classmates that have showered him with handmade get-well cards. I even have it within me to manage to be grateful for the cold, rainy day that lends itself to making a pot of soup and snuggling under a quilt while watching yet another movie. What are you grateful for today?

Meet Mercedes! An Interview with Suddenly Fem’s newest TG model (by CiCi Kitten)

Spring is a great time of year.  The snow melts. The rain stops. And everything seems brand new.  So what better time for Suddenly Fem to introduce their newest tgirl model.  The Spring Fashion Catalog was released last month introducing Suddenly Fem fans to the stunning Mercedes. 

The Spring Fashion edition may have marked Mercedes’ first time in front of the camera for Suddenly Fem, but it’s far from her first time in front of a camera.  Several years ago, Mercedes was talked into attending a large casting session for an upcoming movie.  But there was one catch… it was in public place and the girls had to be in bikinis.  Mercedes almost didn’t go. But a woman told her that she should go for it.  “Wherever she is,” Mercedes says today.  “God bless her.”

As you might expect, Mercedes arrived to find herself surrounded by straight bikini girls and hot dancers.  “I didn’t let it stop me though,” she recalls.  “It just lit the fire inside me.  The promoter told me to relax.  ‘You got this,’ he said.”

She hit the stage to the delight of the crowd.  And delighted them even more when she admitted to one and all that she was… “a woman with balls!”

Now you might think that would have worked against her.  But it didn’t.  Mercedes finished in the Top 3 and got a part in the movie, “Bikini Bandits.”  On the set she got to meet and hang with fellow actors, Dee Dee Ramone, Corey Feldman, and others.  It was a dream come true for a girl who always dreamed of being seen on a bigger stage.  A girl who describes her growing up years with one simple word, “rough.”

Loving the Body You're In...

To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to seek yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have and love is who we are.-Anne Lamott

Most of us struggle, to a greater or lesser extent, with body image. Body image isn’t really about what you look like, but your own perceptions and emotions. It may be weight, build, hair, or in what must be the most difficult of situations, a mismatch between mind and body in terms of gender.

Suddenly Fem is hiring

Suddenly Fem has a position available. If you are local to the Philadelphia, PA area and are in the market for a new Job, take a peek at the opportunity at www.crossdresser.com/careers.asp

The Suddenly Fem Spring Fashion Launch is here!

Some say that the spring is the season when many Crossdressing Fans pack up  their bags and  wait for the  cool autumn air to arrive again.  With baseball season starting, outdoor activities and all those other diversions that guys like, no wonder that their attention may not be all about Glam.

Suddenly Fem™ is aiming to change all that with an exciting new spring line up of fashions that will just be too tempting to pass by. The spring line is anchored by  subtle pastel colors sure to please the eye of the trans-fashionable  shopper.  New dresses are available in Chiffon yellow and bright red shimmer with lace.  New Teddy tops come in dusty pink, matched with a  sexy white pencil skirt. In the market for a  gaff to smooth  your front bulge?  Due out soon are new gaffs made in white, pink or black lace.

New T-Girl Model Mercedes

Even more exciting, Check out the new Fabutastic T-Girl Model Mercedes in the catalog links below!

You can always get your glam on and Shop online for our special made trans fashions, or if you like to have something more interesting, either download or Browse the Suddenly Fem™ e-catalog online. Styles are hot and  stock is limited.

Make this a spring and summer to remember with Suddenly Fem fashions!

Epic Fail - A blog by CiCi Kitten for SuddenlyFem

I’ve failed at just about everything I’ve ever tried.

Now whenever I say that, my friends all come to my rescue.  They rush in to tell me that I’m definitely not a failure.  Surely that can’t be true.  Surely I can’t feel that way.  But it is.  And I do.  I know they’re trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate that.  But it doesn’t change the truth.

I’ve failed at just about everything I’ve ever tried.

Especially the important stuff. I failed as a husband.  I failed as a step-dad.  I failed at my screenwriting career. I failed at my back-up career in marketing.  My personal finances are a disaster and most of my possessions are now locked up in a storage bin.  

And that’s not even the worst of it!  My biggest failure?  I’m still not exactly sure why.  I mean, I’m not the most assertive, confident guy in the world.  But I’m fairly bright. Fairly articulate.  Passionate.  Thoughtful. I’m even confident enough to say I’m talented. My co-workers like me.  My bosses seem to like me and appreciate me.  So you’d think there’d be some place in the business world for someone like me.

But I haven’t found it yet.

Obviously there’s something off.  A lot of times it just seems like my instincts are off.  I get conservative when I should take risks.  And I take risks when I should be playing it safe.  Or, maybe even worse, I get indecisive. Maybe some day I’ll figure it out.  (But I doubt it.)

And that brings me to CiCi.  In more ways than one.

Fantasies, Mentors, and Very Wise Witches - A blog by CiCiKitten for SuddenlyFem

America loves fantasies.  Harry Potter. Star Wars. Lord of the Rings.  The most popular fantasies involve someone relatively powerless –a lonely outsider -- discovering an inner power or a special strength in order to overcome adversity.  Harry Potter. Star Wars. Lord of the Rings.

But one of the key elements is each of these stories is the mentor figure.  Dumbledore. Obi Wan.  Gandalf.   Older, wiser, more experienced life coaches who help young heroes and heroines to eventually figure things out for themselves.

Tgirls have fantasies too.  Lots of them.  But, for the moment, we’ll set aside the common erotic fantasies that occupy our minds – you know, the transformation fantasies where we wake up one morning and some magical spell has turned us into women or princesses or sex slaves.  Depending on your own particular desires, of course.

 

 

The most common tgirl fantasy is much simpler. And not nearly as erotic.  It involves simple acceptance and a chance to grow in one’s femininity.  Every crossdresser wants to improve.  But not every CD knows how to go about “improving.”  Just as most aspiring heroes have no idea how to go about completing their quests.

CD’s want to walk better, talk better, look better, dress better, live better, and, in general, take whatever step is the next step in their own individual progression.  No easy task.  Especially when you look around and see absolutely no real role models in your family, at your school or work place, or even in the ever-expanding galaxy that is pop culture.

Is it any wonder we feel like powerless, lonely outsiders? 

So you start looking for a mentor.  Someone who is more experienced, more confident, and wiser to the ways of t-world. There’s only one problem, most of the more experienced girls you meet – or come across while browsing online – are so caught up in their own next step of progression, they can’t be bothered to help a newbie like you.  They were at your particular level months ago or years ago.  They’ve moved on… and for them, there’s no going back.

So where’s Obi Wan when you need him?

Shotgun 2013 - By Cici Kitten for Suddenly Fem

Back in the 19^th century, the citizens of the newly formed United States of America began to think of westward expansion in terms of destiny.  Manifest destiny.  The idea was that the unexplored, uncivilized areas of the West “belonged” to the U.S. even before we actually claimed them or purchased them.

We see this expansion differently today.  We realize now that those lands were hardly unexplored.  They were owned and managed (and had been for centuries) by very civilized nations of Native Americans.  But that fact notwithstanding, there was at one time an American philosophy that our nation’s expansion was a part of our destiny. American citizens on the East Coast looked at the maps, saw the expanse of land leading to the Pacific Ocean, and believed that it was inevitable that our nation would populate that entire area.

And I think we’re witnessing something similar today.  An expansion in America.  It’s almost like an outbreak.  And try as they might, politicians, pundits, and preachers are unable to stop it.  And they always have been.  I’m talking about the recent outbreak of love and acceptance in America.  An outbreak that, despite many, many heartbreaking and bloody setbacks, in the past continues its march to fulfill its destiny.  The manifest destiny of love.

It’s happening all around us and it has been for over 100 years.

I was a Bully. By Cici Kitten for Suddenly Fem

I recently learned that a childhood friend has died.  I’ll call him Billy. The newspapers say that he “died suddenly at home.” But it is widely known that that phrase is used to describe a death by suicide.  I have not been in touch with Billy for a great many years – most of our adulthood.  But a few years ago when I was back home visiting, I ran into Billy’s father.  His Dad told me, with great pride, of how well Billy was doing and how successful he’d become in the corporate high-tech world.  Billy was literally traveling the world.

The fact that Billy’s Dad talked with pride of his son’s success would be pretty typical of any dad.  But I knew there was more to it than that.  You see, when we were kids, there were times when Billy felt bullied by some of the other bigger, older children in the neighborhood.  And I, I am sad to say, was one of those older kids.  Billy’s Dad wanted me to know that the kid we once picked on had bested us in the end.

I’ve told many times that I had a very typical childhood as a boy – despite how my femme side has evolved today.  Playing sports.  Rough housing.  And basically competing at every single thing we did.  There is a stereotype that girls are cooperative and boys are competitive, and that certainly played out in our neighborhood.

New Year's Resolutions: A Blog for SuddenlyFem by Cupcake

With a new year come the inevitable New Year’s resolutions, from trips to the gym and new diets to promises to read more, travel more or be more adventurous.  My own resolution this year was relatively minimalist. I’ve promised that I will be mindful about what I choose to do with my time and energy, making time for more of what matters and less of what doesn’t.  I’m going to say no less and yes more and make an effort to embrace life. With that, I suppose I’m going to challenge the rest of you to do the same, in ways that are personally relevant to you.

What that means for you may vary and, depending on where you are and how comfortable you are with your own femininity,