Friday, March 20, 2015
My Hometown - A Blog For Suddenly Fem by CiCi Kytten
I spend too much time on the internet. Maybe you do too. I’ve been criticized by friends and family members for this. And I don’t even argue. I do spend a lot of time online. I do check my phone for text messages way too often. And I do belong to way too many chat services and social media sites.
Some days it seems like I’m always on. When I’m watching TV. When I’m eating dinner. When I’m doing laundry. When I’m writing my blogs. I’m always online. I’m always posting. Or chatting. Or shopping. Or checking out other people’s posts.
But I’m sorry. To me, the internet is much more than a waste of time. It’s much more than a diversion. It’s much more than a series of wires and microwaves -- or whatever it is that carries messages on the internet these days. (I have no idea. I’m online all the time, I should probably Google it. And maybe some day I will. But I digress...)
I’m not just an idle online surfer. I’m not cruising porn sites or gambling away a fortune in online poker. I’m a fairly sane and sensible M2F trans person living in 2015 -- and the internet is my hometown.
I mean that. We’re a rising minority in the world. But unlike other minorities, we don’t have a homeland. We don’t have elders and relatives back in the old country. We don’t come from a common place. And we haven’t set up a community. Ethnic minorities often do when they move to a new country. Gays and lesbians often do the same.
But I’ve never heard of trans people doing this. I’ve never heard anyone refer to the transgender part of town or the trans side of town. Los Angeles has a Koreatown and a Chinatown and several other -towns. But I don’t know of any Transtown. There’s no CD City.
I’m not like Andy Griffith or Opie or Aunt Bea. I can’t walk out my front door and stroll around Mayberry. I can’t stop in and see my friends or check up on my trans community neighbors.
And yet, through the internet, I kinda can.
I can log on any time of the day or night... and find friendship. Companionship. I can chat about important things like political issues or this social revolution that we’re all a part of. Or I can chat about fun things... like shopping. Style. Nightclubs. Nightlife. I can search for a new outfit. Or I can search for a new romance.
And -- at least for me -- the benefits of this online trans community have extended far beyond trans culture. I’ve spoken with and befriended people all over the U.S. and all over the world. I’ve received insight into the lives of people in distance lands. And I’ve received insights into the lives of people who live very close to me -- but who live very differently than me. I’ve met people who are much richer than me, and much poorer than me. Better read than me, and less educated than me. I’ve met family guys and confirmed bachelors. Church-goers and atheists. Sex addicts and virtual virgins.
And we don’t just talk about trans life. We talk about cool new cars and cool new high tech gadgets. We talk about sports and movies. Our kids and our pets and our families. And sometimes we chatter on and on about nothing. Like people in small towns once did over backyard fences.
Many of the cd/tv girls that I know are very secretive about their male lives. I’ve known some people for years without ever learning much -- if anything -- about their lives, their wives, their families or the careers. And I’m not one to pry. I know that while our community is becoming much bolder and much more open about our lifestyle, many individuals are still very discreet and secretive about their lives.
And I don’t fault them for it. As I said, I don’t pry. If someone thinks that their personal life is none of my business -- then it is.
I also try not to judge. Because I don’t want to be judged. I put myself out there. I post pix all over the internet. And you can be sure, I hear about it. Some people don’t like my style. Some don’t like my hair. Some wish I dressed more feminine. Some wish I dressed more conservatively. I guess that’s the kind of criticism you have to put up with in a small town.
But I put it up with it all... quite willingly. Because I like my hometown. I like Transtown or CD City... or whatever you want to call this online community that’s become my home. I don’t like everyone in my hometown. But I root for them. I’m a total homer. I want them to succeed. I want them to be happy. And I want them to continue breaking down barriers. It’s like rooting for your high school basketball team. You may not know the players personally. And if you do know them, you may not like some of them. But you still root for them. It’s local loyalty. It’s hometown pride.
And I’m a huge fan of Team T!
So maybe I do spend too much time online. And maybe you do too. But let’s cut ourselves some slack. When you think about it, maybe we have more in common with Andy Griffith than I thought. No one ever criticized anyone for going for a little after-dinner walk around the neighborhood. That’s considered being, well, neighborly.
And when we’re online, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Taking a little stroll around town.
Seeing what’s going on. Seeing what people are up to. Smiling and waving and wishing our neighbors well.
Okay. I know I’m making this all sound way too quaint and perfect and nice. But I get nostalgic when I think about small towns. I grew up in a small town. And its kind of cool to think that, after all these years and after going through so many changes, I’ve found a new smalltown to call home.
Take care out there.
Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy.
Posted by CiCi Kytten at 3:23 AM