Friday, November 16, 2012

Transgender Day of Remembrance - By Cici Kitten For Suddenly Fem

It’s always a little ironic to me that one of the most festive events for crossdressers and tgirls, Halloween, is closely followed by one of the most sober, The Transgender Day of Remembrance.  It goes without saying that happy, festive, upbeat events are better attended than somber events.  But I urge each and every one who is reading this column to seek out and attend a TDR event near you.  You can find info online, but I believe you’ll find some kind of observance in most major cities, on college campuses, or at any LGBT center. 

I attended the Los Angeles event last year for the first time.  A totally uncharacteristic heavy rainstorm washed out a planned walk, but the event was moved indoors – and I was moved to tears.  Speakers from all walks of life stepped to the podium and shared their heartfelt stories, memories, and statements of love and support. We are an extremely diverse and often fragmented community.  But to me, that just makes our common bonds and our shared history all that much more meaningful.

I guess this isn’t my typical blog. But November brings two very different memorial days:  Veterans Day and the Transgender Day of Remembrance.  Both of those days inspired the following.

Take care out there.

Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy.

The Tomb of the Transgender Soldier

This is the tomb of the transgender soldier.
He died with his secret. He died with the brave.
His dreams and desires all died along with him.
He serves now in silence. Alone in his grave.

Not long ago, he was serving his country.
He fought with his brothers. He fought for us all.
Shoulder to shoulder. In sand, dirt, and mud.
He did his duty.  He answered the call.

And he wasn’t alone. There were many more like him.  
Heroes and heroines. So many now dead.
Fighting for freedoms most can’t understand.
They did not bleed rainbows. They bled in blood red.

His mother said nothing when she packed up his things
And found a pink box on the back of his shelf.
How fitting he died on a cold field of battle
When for most of his life, he was at war with himself.

This is the tomb of the transgender soldier.
She died with her secret. She died with the brave.
Her dreams and desires all died along with her.
The ultimate closet.  The dark lonely grave.

17 comments: said...

thank you i served and know others who served and we all thank you for these words of truth

Anonymous said...

cici.. that is just amazing,, ive never served in the army,, but i can see the truth and honesty there.. i actually got quite emotional,,, love cara, (irish cd) said...

You have touch me again.You have shown the internal struggle we all go through. Then highlighted the sad part! How many of us will die and nobody will know our other special half. Hopefully I will finally get the courage to step out of the closet and share my girl side!


Anonymous said...

I served in Viet Nam and yet, only recently came out in full fem form after losing my job because of it. The heartache and shame I was forced to endure when I came back from Nam was nothing compared to the ugly looks, condescension and ridicule I now face when I am out. The world is not yet ready for us, sadly.

Jan said...

I served as well,Sorry,Keyboard is blurred from tears. Thank you CiCi.Hugs,Jan

CiCi said...

To all,
Thank you for your kind comments. i am sincerely touched by your responses. I never served, but i am well aware that many of the people in our community have served or are currently serving. The great majority of course, keep their tv/tg sides a secret. As do so many others in service fields such as police, fire, etc.

We, as a nation, owe a great debt to those who have served, sacrficed, or sadly been wounded or died. And i am happy to call attention to the fact that among our many brave soldiers are members of the tg/tv/cd community. No less brave. No less honorable. No less worthy of our gratitude.


Daniel Lee said...

By all means, do what is right to preserve the event for you. I was referring more to those who turn an event honoring those we've lost into something very different, particularly organizations who might use it to feather their own nest rather than paying attention to the issue of anti-trans violence. To see more info please visit

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