Wednesday, September 5, 2012
A Practice Date
Whether you're single and heading out on the town all dressed up for the first time or you're in a relationship, but hoping to get used to socializing when you're dressed, practice makes perfect. The opportunity to practice feminine mannerisms, body language and behavior in a safe, private space can make you more comfortable when or if you go out into the world. It's also a fun and playful way to integrate dressing up into your relationship with your spouse or partner. Who knows, she might be game for donning a shirt and tie for the evening. If you're single, recruit a friend who is willing to play along. While the practice date may have a happier ending with a partner than a platonic friend, you're sure to have a good night either way. In either case, let your date know how you feel about feedback—you may want to practice and just go for it, or you may be open to constructive criticism.
Setting the Stage
While I think of a romantic evening as the ideal practice scenario, you might not. You can opt for candlelight, wine and dinner or use this opportunity to test out your skills in a less traditional scenario. Pizza and beer anyone? Plan out the evening ahead of time and think through possible challenges, as well as what you hope to learn from this trial run. If you can cook, you may find that taking on a traditional gender role helps you feel more feminine. If you'd rather not, or simply can't cook, there's not a thing wrong with asking her to bring take out when she gets home. While you can look like a lady eating pizza and drinking beer, pasta and tacos are a lost cause for most of us, even genetic girls. If you are hoping to take your dates out and about, try to recreate a similar setting at home.
If you can, lay claim to the bathroom and master bedroom to get ready and feel pretty. Have a light snack and a glass of wine while you're prepping for your date. Indulgent beauty routines are one of those perks to being a woman, so enjoy them. Make a full spa afternoon of it at home if you'd like. Do your nails, use a favorite lotion and take the time for a bath, if you like taking them. Ideally, shave, get your makeup on and be dressed and in your best heels before your date for the evening gets home. A bit of additional time can allow you to get your makeup perfect, your hair just right and help you feel confident, especially if you're new to getting all dolled up. Transitional rituals like these can also help you turn off one side of your personality and turn on another.
Flirting is more than just batting your eyelashes. It's how you walk, talk and move. From the time your heels go on your feet, walk like a woman. In heels, it's hard not to, if we're all honest. Small steps and a bit of a sway to your hips will go a long way. Hold your arms by your side, allowing them to swing from the elbow rather than the shoulder. Think old Hollywood glamour, rather than modern girl.
Mimic your partner's movements to appear interested. Lower your head slightly and look out from under your eyelashes. Gentle touches on the arm, shoulder, or hand are a feminine way to express interest. While men flirt by appearing aggressive and dominant, typically, women do so by appearing approachable and somewhat submissive.
Keep your movements small and soft, rather than large or abrupt. While a falsetto voice is more drag queen than feminine, softening your own voice and speaking quietly will lend it a more feminine tone. Turn your body toward your date, but maintain an open posture. Avoid crossing your arms or crossing your legs at the knee.
While good manners are fairly universal regardless of gender, remember to take small bites and eat slowly. Set your fork down between bites. That light snack while you were getting ready should have helped prevent the dinner's ready and you're starving phenomenon. It's much easier to eat like a lady when you're not about to faint from hunger. Try to relax and enjoy conversation with your date. You're in a home, in a safe and private space intended for you to practice and release your feminine side.
Later that Night
If you and your partner have agreed that you're comfortable with it, a practice date like this one is an ideal precursor to bringing your feminine side into the bedroom. You've had all evening to relax and settle in, so hopefully you're both feeling close, connected and loving.
Posted by Cupcake at 9:18 AM