Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Getting Along with the Girls
Once you've moved from high heels to practical and flirty flats, you may be ready to take your female side out and about in day-to-day life. Even if you're not out at the office, getting comfortable going to lunch, shopping or for happy hour drinks with the girls can help you feel good in your own skin. While you may be lucky enough to have a circle of girls just like you to hang out with, if you're looking to run with the genetic girls, learning a few social rules can help you fit in and get invitations to girls' night out.
Dress appropriately for the occasion. Take the time to do some people watching or research and look at what women of your age wear when they're shopping, clubbing or going to lunch. If you know a woman with a stunning sense of style, note what she wears and how or schedule a shopping date and ask for help. Long denim skirts will be out of place if you're twenty and a plunging neckline and plaid schoolgirl skirt will attract unwanted attention if you're closer to an AARP membership than your twenty-first birthday. Hint: Your micro-mini or platform heels do not belong at a church luncheon, even if you attend a very welcoming church.
Your body language can send a message, creating a feminine impression on those around you. This one isn't about appearance, but rather about your behavior and mannerisms. Pick a favorite female TV character or a friend from the office and watch how she moves and sits. You didn't have the benefit of your mother telling you to sit like a lady, so I will. Keep your knees together and cross your ankles. While you can cross your legs at the knee, watch the skirt. Unless we're really close friends, I should never, ever see your panties. Let your feminine side out and talk with your hands, especially if you have a manicure to show off. Even if you're self-conscious about your height, stand straight with your shoulders back and tummy tucked. Good posture keeps your chest front and center and prevents any unwanted drooping.
Know your friends. Different social groups have distinctly different rules, but good manners always help. Master making a delicious margarita or baking a killer cupcake to share with friends. If you're not keen on the kitchen, bring a bottle of wine when you arrive. Social gatherings are often potluck, with everyone pitching in to create a meal or put together snacks. Keep in mind that women also help out when it's time to clean up, so help with the dishes if you're looking to be just one of the girls. Depending upon your personal situation, offer to host gatherings if you're able.
While you may remember the old rule about not discussing sex, religion or politics, figuring out the nuances of female conversation is a bit more challenging. Stick to neutral subjects until you have an idea of what subjects are acceptable. In most cases, your work, children, personal projects, vacations and movies, music or books are welcome subjects, even in a conservative group. Once the women in your life are true friends, rather than mere acquaintances, you'll likely find that women discuss personal issues much more freely than men. At that point, relationship troubles, marriage, and even sex are on the table for conversation.
Making new friends isn't easy, whether you've been sporting heels since you were twelve or you're just learning. While you may find you fit right in with your wife's friends and she welcomes you into that part of her life, don't be surprised if she'd rather you find your own girlfriends and not expect to share wine and cupcakes with her gal pals.
Posted by Cupcake at 9:43 AM