Wednesday, February 11, 2009

First Time Out!

Going out for the first time is probably one of the most terrifying things you’ll have to face as a T-girl (aside from telling your Mom, and let’s be honest, there’s very little chance that you’re ever going to do that.) Going out for the first time is so scary some of you will never attempt it. And that’s okay, we all have different T-goals. But this month’s blog is for the girls who want to go out – even if it’s just for a few hours. Or for a short drive around the block.

Either way it’s a big step, and I’ve tried to come up with a few suggestions to make your night flow smoothly. Now, I’m not going to get into clothes or makeup here, I’m going to discuss a few things you might not have thought of. Like your car…

1. Check your oil. And your tires. And your engine. I know I sound like your Dad. But think about it. The last thing you want to do is break down on your first night out. If I were you, I’d get the car thoroughly checked at least a week before your night out. And fill it with gas early in the day. Of course, there’s no way to guarantee that you won’t have car trouble or a fender bender. That happens to everyone. But you’ll definitely want to take precautions.

2. Do a drive-by. Earlier in the day, drive past the location you’re going to. Check out the neighborhood. Check out your route (so you don’t get lost and have to stop to ask for directions). You also might want to call the clubs and see if they have valet parking available. While you’re doing your drive-by, hit the ATM as well. It’s just easier if you can go straight to your club without a lot of stops for gas or directions or cash on your first night out. Of course, taxi cabs are always a good option. Cabbies in most large cities won’t be shocked at the sight of a T-girl. They’ll just be happy to have another fare.

3. Drive carefully. This should probably go without saying, but if you do drive, leave yourself plenty of time so you don’t have to hurry. You’re going to be nervous. Your heels are going to feel funny on the pedals. Your long hair is going to get in your eyes. (And so are your lashes.) And your arms are going to have trouble reaching around the big Double D’s you bought to go with your hot new outfit. So please be careful and drive safely. You may want to drive around in sandals or slippers… and the slip into your sexy stilettos when you arrive at your destination. And you may also want to throw a bag of boy clothes in the back. That way if you break down somewhere or get lost or run into any situation where you’d feel more comfortable as a boy, you can do a quick change.

BTW… be prepared to be stopped by the cops. Who knows why. But several girls have told me that they get stopped a lot. Are the cops curious? Are they hoping to meet hot women? Who knows? Just be ready. And it wouldn’t hurt to carry a few spare donuts just in case.

4. If you’re going far from home, book a motel. I do this all the time because I live a couple of hours from L.A. I prefer motels to hotels because then I don’t have to do the “parade” through the lobby when I’m dressed and headed out. Now, I have some friends (and they know who they are!) who enjoy the parade. They go out of their way to attract attention, flirt with the tourists in the elevators and lobbies, and generally cause a stir. And that’s cool. But if you’re like most newbies, you’ll probably want to slip in and out of your room as quickly and quietly as possible.

In fact, I book my motel room well in advance and I specifically ask for a room on the first floor. That way, when I leave the motel to go out, I can slip out of my door and right into my car without attracting too much attention.

Also, if booking a room for the night seems like an expensive additional expense, check on-line with any gf’s you might have in the area. T-girls are often looking to find a place to dress and prep. So you can split the cost.

BTW … a note on Vegas. Prepare yourself for a lot of walking if you stay at a major casino hotel. The casinos place the elevators as far as possible from the main doors. That way, tourists have to walk past all those tempting slots and tables to get to their elevator. No problem if you’re in flats and boywear. But if you’ve never been out in heels before – get ready for a lot of walking around long before you ever get to your destination.

5. Be ready to be noticed. No matter where you’re going or who you’re going with, you’re going to be noticed. And you’re probably going to hear some comments. Some of these comments will be charitable. Some of the people you meet will be nice. (For some reason, men in Vegas seem to go out of their way to open doors for me. But that definitely doesn’t happen in Hollywood.) On the other hand, some of the reactions will be negative. And some of the comments will be mean and insulting – no matter how good you look. So you have to be prepared for that. And just keep walking.

The amount of attention you’re about to receive can be pretty startling. You’ve walked around in your adult male body for years now and you probably haven’t attracted much attention. But you’re about to. Heads will turn. Eyes will stare. Men will snicker. And I say enjoy it! Enjoy the attention. There’s a bit of diva in all of us, and I bet you’re going to love feeling like the center of attention. So hold your head high. Strut your stuff. And block out any negative comments. Because tonight is all about you.

6. Bring a friend! Or five or six. Why go alone?? Bring your wife or girlfriend or boyfriend. Or try to arrange to go with another T-girl who knows the area or the club. I’ve found that most T’s are dying to find companions to go out with. So it usually isn’t too difficult to find someone to hang with, share a ride with, or even share a room with. It’s also a good idea to let a friend know exactly where you’re going to be and when you’re expected back. You should also arrange to check in with a friend from time to time throughout the evening. When the other girls slip outside for a smoke break, I slip away and call a friend. It’s easy, it won’t interrupt your fun, and it keeps you in touch with the rest of the world.

7. Have fun! You’ve waited a long time for this. It’s going to be nerve-wracking, stress-inducing and often uncomfortable. Your corset is going to hurt, your heels are going to pinch, and your wig is going to keep slipping off your head. But, believe me, it’s all worth it. You’ve passed another stage in your t-girl development, and there’s no going back. Even if you never go out again in your life! I’m so proud of you!

But more importantly, you’re going to be proud of yourself. Maybe as proud as you’ve ever been!

Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy.
xoxoxo,
CiCi


P.S. Girls! If any of you have any helpful tips to add, please do so! Or if you have an entertaining “first time out” experience to share, please add that as well! We’d love to hear your stories!

23 comments:

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Anonymous said...

CiCi,

My first time out was good. Went to an art gallery opening with my mentor friend. Only negative response was form an older sourpuss women. Nice comments from guys on my legs, butt and walk. They were amazed when they heard it was my first time out!

Loved it!!!! And smiled about it for weeks.

love you CiCi,

Part Time Danielle in Connecticut

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