Monday, November 17, 2008

John Wayne

John Wayne is a Sissy
(A message for the Transgender Day of Remembrance)

Most of us are sissies. A sissy is defined as any ~boy or man regarded as effeminate.~ So no matter how hot you look. No matter how domme or butch you might be. To a lot of people out there, you are still a sissy. An effeminate guy who has gone so far as to dress as a woman.

Now I know this is not really true. I have met several of my tg friends in guy mode and I would not describe most of them as effeminate. Of course they are not particularly macho either. Most of them are pretty normal guys ~ husbands and fathers, execs and repairmen, outdoor enthusiasts and studious bookworms. But to most of the world, once we strap on our heels, we are all sissies. And I can accept that.

Some T-girls hate the word, it still has too many negative connotations. But I do not mind. I mean, if you are saying I look and act like a girl, well, duh, that is what Iam trying to do!

It is the second definition of sissy that bothers me. The second definition of sissy is, ~a person regarded as timid or cowardly.~ Now I have met lots of timid T-girls. Even the most confident drag doll can feel pretty intimidated when she is around new people or in a strange place. We can all get a little shy.

But cowardly? I am sorry. I just cannot see that. The truth is, T-girls are some of the bravest people I know. Think about it for a second.

Think about the closeted T-girl going out to a night club or to a support group for the very first time.

Think about the out-and-about T-girl going on her first date.

Think about the young T ~ no more than eight years old ~ slipping into her sisters closet to try on a pair of panties. Knowing that her family could return at any time and catch her in the act.

Or the teen who faces mockery and bullying every day at school.

Think about the many T-girls of all ages who come out to their friends every year. Or to their families. Or to their wives.

Think of those brave enough to physically transform themselves ~ at the risk of losing their friends and family, or ruining their careers.

Some of our most honored heroes would not dare attempt such feats of bravery! Now would it not be amazing if the rest of the world realized this? Would it be amazing if dictionaries started listing the second definition of sissy as someone who ~displays uncommon courage at the risk of tremendous personal loss~?

Would that not be a trip? Then we would start calling war heroes and daredevils and civil rights leaders sissies! And it would be a compliment. The bravest of the brave. Can you imagine?

John Wayne? Sissy!

Malcolm X? Sissy!

Evil Knievel? Such a sissy!

The outmanned, outgunned Minutemen who started the American Revolution? Sissies all!

Sam Peckinpahs ~Wild Bunch~? A bunch of sissies!

Bruce Willis? Sly Stallone? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Sissy. Sissy. Sissy.

All the T-girls we remember each Trans Day of Remembrance? Those who died ~ often violently – due to hatred or prejudice? Innocents killed for the terrible sin of insisting on being themselves?

Sissies.

The bravest of the brave.



Look for Transgender Day of Remembrance events and activities all around the country – and perhaps the world – during the week of November 16-22.

Take care out there.
Be smart. Be safe. Be sexy.
xoxo,
CiCi

(Definitions courtesy of the American Heritage Dictionary)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, let us remember them, today, tomorrow and forever! ~Willow

Teresa2 said...

When it comes right down to it I believe that most people are so caught up in their own little worlds that they really don't give a flying rats ass about anyone but themselves.Sure we all worry about what other people think-or even worse what people MIGHT think,but once in while if you're paying attention you realize that and you can move past it.

pbuxton said...

So, you keep your t-girl life secret from your family (if I read the "Overwhelmed" post right) but you think yourself brave?

"Let's see you walk the high-heel walk, pilgrim." I vote Republican, am bi and out to my (Republican) parents and friends. If holding two opposing ideas at once without going crazy does indeed make one an artist, I am Byron and you are Robert Southey.

I should think that complete intellectual poverty would cause severe, chronic pain, but all I see around me shows that clearly false.

Keep your God damned man hands off the Minutemen. You aren't fit to skin for boot leather in Valley Forge.

Oh, and ad hominem right back atcha, girly.

CiCi said...

pbuxton,
thank you for your comment... and... absolutely! i am very proud of all the people i've met in this community. and i think that all of the tg's (men and women) are very brave. we all will take this to different levels of transition and we will do so for many different reasons. likewise, some of us will be held back for a variety of reasons. the point is, for me, that i know this is hard. pbuxton, if you are open and "out," then no doubt you have experienced the full range of joys and sorrows that accompany this life. to me, being yourself (no matter who you are) isn't at all easy. the people i've met in this community and the people who i've met through this website represent a wide range of transgendered people. they are all at different stages of their own personal journeys. i think of them all as courageous and adventurous... and i wish them all happiness -- in whatever terms they themselves define it!
xoxo,
CiCi

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